A very personal view of SSRI medication, and withdrawal.

Recently in the news, especially in the UK and USA, there has been a lot of discussion centering around a scientific report that claims that SSRI (Selective Serotonin Receptive Inhibitors) have very little effect when tested against placebos, and that this research uncovered previously unobtainable test results that the various drug companies carried out prior to launching the drugs into the market. Lawyers get ready to line your pockets now, at least in the US.

Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, Paxil, all medications that are now in question for their impact on depressive disorders, and their over prescription by many doctors as the easy way way out of solving a patient’s apparent depression.

 

I was first diagnosed with a “major” depressive disorder about 2 years ago, and have run through the gamut of SSRI types, along with benzodiazepine dosage, for what is termed “General Anxiety Disorder.” My latent alcoholism exacerbated matters, until I got that under control only recently.

Before this study was even announced, I had voluntarily taken myself off the Paroxetine (PAXIL, or SEROXAT) regime that that I was on, because life was flat, meaningless, devoid of emotional stimuli that is part of everyday life. Libido non-existant, and lethargic to the degree of just not caring anymore.

These SSRI medications are extremely powerful, and indeed can cause serious dependency – the withdrawal from Paroxetine is tortuous, and may yet continue for months, just visit www.paxilprogress.org for the full truth about this particular drug – and I am suffering considerably as a result.

Did they ever help? The short answer is “yes” I was able to overcome social phobias and anxiety disorders in situations that normally I could never have coped with.

Was I on them too long? Jury still out on that one, but I believe that I was, and that after the initial treatment my doctor and I should have reduced or eliminated the drug usage in order to not develop the dependency that is evident when stopping this medication.

Over a month later, I feel more “natural” – more aware of joy and sadness – but I still get mood swings, although as my wife has so cogently put it “you were always like that. Only the drink made you into a different person.”

Am I glad to be off the medication? 100%. Would I ever consider such treatment again? Probably not. But when you are looking into a great deep black hole, and nothing is stopping you from falling in, well, then I think such medications can help. But not without support from family, friends, doctor and counsellors.

My grandfather was an alcoholic who died relatively young. My youngest brother committed suicide at the age of 17. Both my parents are on anti-depressant medication, and have been for years. Perhaps there are genes that predispose one to extreme behavior, or depressive “disorders.”

I am lucky to have a wife that is patient, tolerant and understanding. Without her, I would probably…..but let’s not go there, because it is impossible to say what might have been my future. Just be grateful for what I have. And I am.

I am still fighting to put my life back in order, and lead a normal life with all the strength that I can muster – because I’ve seen the alternatives, and I won’t go that route. Never. Never again.

---

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

• Depression 101 Continued part 2
• When Side Effects Are Dismissed
• Critics: DEA crackdown denies some patients pain medication